Some thoughts about life...

Since I started modelling I’ve notoiced that I’ve got so much more free time than I used to have.Before, I could wake up 6.30 every day and go to basketball practice, school, an other practice, have dinner, do homework and then go to bed . If I was free I always spend the time with friends, boyfriend or family. I was never alone. I always had a schedule from either school or basketball with things I had to do or places I had to go to. I learned how to set up goals on things I have to get better on regarding both school and basketball, so I would constantly look forward and develop myself. But with the job I have now, things are so different. There is no schedule that’s completely set, anything can always change. So days you think you’re off, something from work can suddenly come up and keep you busy all day. Same thing around if you think you will be busy and sometimes even booked for a job, it can be cancelled last minute and give you a free day instead. So planning can be really hard sometimes. This with free time and free days can sound amazing for some people, but I actually love my work and really like to be busy and have plans. It’s calming and safe in a way to know what you will be doing the next day so you are prepared. It’s easy to have someone like a teacher or a trainer who tells you exactly what you have to do or what they expect from you. It might be hard to fulfill what they’re asking for, but its easy to just follow orders. So times when I’m free it’s all up to me how I want to fill it up. Some people can just sit back, relax and enjoy the silence. But I have a hard time to just do that. Maybe because I’ve always kept myself so busy earlier in life.  I don’t know about you, but I want to wake up and feel that there is a purpose of every day, feel that there is a meaning of me getting up and start the day. If it’s for work, to the gym, meet a friend or just to read a book. I want to have something to look forward to that makes me develop myself to a better person. Right now I’m exploring myself on how I want to spend my freetime. What do I want to learn or develop? What makes me happy? What makes me feel that I give my life more meaning? No one else than myself can answer these questions, and it’s not easy but step by step I’m getting closer to my goal and also getting to know myself on the way.