How To Cope With Divorce

In today's society divorce rates are at the highest they've ever been. The USA has the third-highest divorce rate across the globe with over 40% of first marriages ending in divorce. In no uncertain terms is divorce a walk through the park for any couple. It's emotional, stressful, and can turn your entire life upside down. While the process of divorce can be lengthy, you are not alone during this time. Here are 8 simple coping mechanisms to help you through your divorce... 8 Simple Ways to Cope With Divorce Going through a divorce is like trying to navigate a minefield. Not only do you have your own emotions to deal with, but also those of your children. Then there's the legal and financial implications of divorce and trying to hold down your job, too. It may seem like a black hole of despair at the time, but there is light at the end of it all- read here for more! The fact of the matter is that life as you know it is about to change, and this may make you feel completely out-of-control of your life. But with these 8 tips on how to cope you can make it out alive... 1. Actively Work on Acceptance Bad things happen to good people all the time. This is just a sad fact of life. It may be extremely difficult to accept because it just seems so unfair, but acceptance is a huge part of moving on with your life after your divorce. At one time or another, we all face tragedy in our lives. Whether its divorce, the loss of a loved one, or even losing a job you love. The key is to think about how you should face tragedy. Will you accept this major life crisis and bounce back with resilience and determination? Or are you doomed to live a life of misery and despair? Deep down you know the answer, but it's important to actively work on accepting this life tragedy and moving forward with your life. 2. Talk it Out As mentioned above, a support network is vital during the process of divorce. Find someone you can truly talk to and unload all your emotions. Whether this is a close friend, relative, or mental health professional. You don't need to go through the process alone. Talking about it is one of the best ways to overcome suppressed emotions of anger, sadness, and even shame. Just make sure you find a good listener and not someone who is likely to ''stir the pot'' with their own opinions. 3. Make Yourself a Priority Taking time out for yourself during a life crisis such as divorce may seem completely ludicrous at the time. We get it- you have too much to do, too many fires to put out. But self-care is 100% necessary during the process of divorce. Quite frankly, you may lose your mind without it. Take some time out of your day for 20-30 minutes of complete alone time. Whether you go on a walk, take a long bath, cook yourself something delicious or go to the gym, this time is yours and it's sacred. 4. Build a Strong Support Network While family and friends will want to support you through the process of your divorce, the emotional turmoil can put a strain on these relationships too. It's ok to lean on them for a short time or at the beginning of the divorce process. But over time, it's important to find outside support if you still need it. There is a myriad of divorce support groups available to help you cope, sort through and process your emotions. It also offers you a chance to make new friends, get out and socialize and begin re-building a new life. Divorce is extremely difficult, but a good support network can truly help to soften the blow. 5. It's Ok to Mourn the Loss Divorce is, essentially, the loss of a very important relationship in your life - perhaps your most important relationship. This is why divorce is often likened to losing a loved one or mirroring a death of some kind. It's actually very important to go through the grieving process of losing this relationship, as you would when grieving a death. Take to mourn your loss, it's healthy and will help you come to terms with moving on with your life. 6. Learn to Create a New Normal When we are in a long-term relationship we tend to develop daily habits and rituals which become the norm. When divorce happens, you'll need to ''unlearn'' these habits and rituals, and create new ones. It may seem completely unnatural and alien at first, but it's important to create a new normal in order to move on with your new life. Experiment with new and old habits in order to establish a new daily routine and you'll soon find your own groove. 7. Don't Be Afraid to Ask For Help This is especially important if you have children. Going from a co-parenting to a single parenting environment is a major shock. It's undoubtedly one of the most stressful aspects of divorce. Asking for help doesn't mean you are ''failing'' as a parent or you've made the wrong choice with your divorce. It simply means you need to find your feet and establish a routine you can manage. Establish a go-to list of people who are willing to help with your children when you need it the most, and don't shy away from asking for help! 8. Analyze Your Role in the Dissolution of Your Relationship It's easy to look back and blame the demise of your relationship on your partner. However, looking inward and accepting your role is equally important, too. A marriage is a two-way street and it takes two adults to contribute to the dissolution of a relationship, whether one is more to blame than the other. Essentially, this step will help you to accept and acknowledge your own flaws and avoid making the same mistakes twice. Take Control of Your Happiness If you're going through a divorce, break-up, or the loss of a loved one, Devote is on-hand to help you through it! Looking to jump back on the bandwagon with a date? Check out this blog for more...