We’ve all been there before sitting at home alone, confused, trying to piece together the fragments of a broken heart. The aftermath of a breakup can be devastating especially if you still want to make it work with the other person. We’ve talked about getting your ex-boyfriend back, but now it’s time to help out the guys. Your friends may be telling you to move on, that there’s plenty of fish in the sea, but if your heart is telling you to give it another go, then finding the right tools to get your ex-girlfriend back can be challenging. Truth be told, if you really want to get your ex-girlfriend back, it’s time to stop whining and moping and take some action! No girl ever came back to a sad sack couch potato. So to prevent you from looking like a tragic crazed stalker, and to remove the feeling of desperation that’s beginning to permeate your being, I’m going to walk you through the process with 5 simple steps. It’s not all roses and jewelry guys. Trust me, I’ve been in a relationship for 10 years–you think the whole time was smooth sailing? I’ve been there done that and realized what really worked and what was just embarrassing to watch. It’s time to get your ex-girlfriend back, feel free to take notes. Step 1 — Be Honest About It “There is no real reason—it’s just over” said no girl ever.Baltimore Backpage https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/Maryland/city-of-Baltimore.html?page=91 Cleveland backpage https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/Ohio/city-of-Cleveland.html?page=91 Guys I’m sorry but you have a tendency to only look at surface issues and when you recount a breakup it’s only the final blow up that you consider a defining factor. There was a big fight, harsh words were said on both parts, I have no idea why she was mad in the first place and if I didn’t say those things then none of this would have happened and we’d still be together. That’s cute, but no. I hate to break it to you but she did not break up with you because of one conversation, a drunken text, or the underwear you left on the living room floor. If you want a real chance to get your ex-girlfriend back you have to look at the relationship in its entirety. Dissect that mother fucker, go C.S.I. on it, because trust me that’s what she did before she dumped you. Girls rarely make impulsive decisions regarding ending relationships and she’s probably been coming to this decision for a long time. There was something you did or something about you that she doesn’t want to deal with anymore. Take responsibility and try and make changes without her (if it’s height, weight, hair color or something fundamental about yourself don’t bother, she’s a bitch and you can do better) girls love to see that we’ve had an effect and honestly admitting wrong doing makes us feel better. Plus, it feeds our need to be right and let’s face it most of the time we are. Show her you took her words to heart and you’re willing to be the man she dreams of. Step 2 — Get Real Why do you really want to get your ex-girlfriend back? Is it because she found someone new? Do you miss the sex? Do you need someone to do your laundry and cook your meals? Or is it because out of millions of people in the world she is truly the most perfect amazing match for you and your true sole mate?backpage Spokane https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/Washington/city-of-Spokane.html?page=91Rockford backpage https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/Illinois/city-of-Rockford.html?page=91 Hopefully it’s the latter but, if it’s for any other reason, bow out like a gentleman. If you’re honest about what you miss about her and why she’s an important part of your life you’ll have a jump start on winning her back. Girls need to know that we’re not the only ones thinking of a future. I’m not saying run back with a 10 year plan for your white picket fence, that will freak her out, but be honest about where you see the two of you going. Make her feel like she’s a missing puzzle piece and integral to your future. I understand the need to be cool and not seem like a chump it’s a cliche defense mechanism but when dealing with matters of the heart being genuine is the golden ticket. Girls will open up when you do, and be more willing to reconsider giving it second chance; they just have to see you want more than to just be together for the sake of it. Step 3 — Create Some Space Time heals all wounds and nothing is more annoying or will shut down reconciliation faster than constant calls and text. Have some dignity dude and pull yourself together. I know it might be hard, but respect her decision and give her space. Take a break from calling, texting, Facebook posts and Instagram likes. She needs to feel what it’s like to not have you in her life; she needs to miss you. This is also the perfect time for you to work on steps 1 and 2 and really make sure you want to get back together.Buffalo backpage https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/New-York/city-of-Buffalo.html?page=91Austin backpage https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/Texas/city-of-Austin.html?page=91 After some time apart reach out in a non-committal way, ask her out for a drink or coffee, get together with a group of mutual friends and start to rebuild your friendship. She’ll start to remember all the good times you shared and she’ll be interested in why you’re not chasing her. Girls love a challenge and even if it’s an ex we still want to know we can have you if we want. I know it’s not exactly noble, but it’s the truth. The minute you start to pull away and reconnect on the friend level she’ll start to reach out to make plans, send you sweet texts, and stare at her phone in intervals of 5 minutes waiting for you to contact her. If it seems like a game, it is, but you want to plant a seed in her mind and get her thinking about you again. Just don’t fuck it up and post pictures of you with skanks all over the internet otherwise all her thoughts will be about how much of an asshole you are. Step 4 — Fresh Approach Even though you’re trying to get your ex-girlfriend back you should really look at it as starting over. Don’t bring up the past every time you two are in a room together, remember somewhere in there is the reason you split in the first place. As much as girls love reminiscing we want new exciting prospects, instead of living in “the way we were” start thinking of what’s next for us. Make the idea of getting back together as exciting and new as when you first started dating, everything is fresh and fun. Your ex-girlfriend won’t even consider getting back with you if you just want to pick up where you two left off, in her mind it’s like falling into the same trap and 6 months from now you’ll be heartbroken again. Be creative and show up for her, dress nice, smell good and take interest in what she’s doing. Take her out on a first date all over again, don’t go in for the kiss, don’t try and sleep with her, leave her hanging and craving a second date. She’ll remember the butterflies she had when she was around you and you’ll create new ones, and every girl loves the butterflies. If you’ve done your homework you’ll know what was missing the first time around and be able to fill in those gaps, making her question why she ever left you in the first place. Step 5 — Call In The Big Guns I’m going to break a little girl code here, ladies, I’m sorry. If you’ve done all the things above and she’s still sitting on the fence of uncertainty talk to her friends. Make sure you go for the inner circle; don’t call up Nancy the party friend because she’s just that, a party friend. This will require you to work some magic because if they’re loyal friends they’re not just going to jump on your bandwagon, use those powers of charisma and get some inside info. The key is to subtly share how you feel with them, tell them about the changes you’ve made, how you’re planning your future and how you’ve remained solo post breakup. Remember what I said about planting seeds? You’ve just planted an orchard and as soon as your ex-girlfriend brings you up to her friends they’re going to parrot what they’ve learned about you. If you’re a true master they won’t even know they’re fighting on your side, it will just happen. Girls need confirmation from their friends before doing anything and getting back with an ex is a major decision. Please believe, they will hold counsel. They’ll weigh the pros and cons together over wine and if you’ve got a sleeper cell in the mix you’re more likely to win. Don’t worry about getting all of them to like you, all you need are two or three main players and you’re set. Disclaimer: This will only work if you have a clean record, don’t expect the friends to help you or even give you the time of day if you’ve been a liar, cheater, abusive prick or general asshole. Every time she cried about you it was to them and real friends never forgive or forget your shenanigans. Now get to work! You’ve got to get your ex-girlfriend back.