Midnight daydream

I see your face across the room and I can't decide whether I am excited or scared for my life. You have that familiar look of beautiful, stabbing sadness in your eyes and I feel like I should say something but everything I can think of is meaningless at its’ best. I bury my face in the salt tasting wine I am pretending to enjoy and drown every feeling of you and me and the past and the present. Our paths haven't crossed in so long that I almost forgot the way your upper lip curves when you smile and suddenly you are everywhere again. I look around the place that is my mind - kind of a smokey lounge filled with a random collection of faces I have spoken to since 1992. I walk down a street that reminds me of a place where I once lived and I think of nothing nothing nothing because everything is you today. I wake up from my dream because the subconscious is a dangerous place. I sit down and write a blog post in shitty english because english is your language and not mine. I skim through the letters and remember how much you hated everything I wrote, said, did, loved. That's why I'm here and you're there. That and many other reasons.