Days in London and back home (kind of)

What I remember from being in London is that while every day seemed to go on forever and I had lots of time to do whatever I wanted, the days and weeks just flew by!  Just like that, it was already Saturday the 16th and I went back to good old Kelvedon to celebrate my old host mum's 40th. I was nervous and excited to meet the family again, as I always am, but with the added pressure of not feeling my best mentally, I felt like I didn't belong there. I was so happy to meet all of the family again and the party was amazing, but I felt like I shouldn't have been there. Like I just shouldn't have bothered them and that I was just added trouble to them for being there. It seems silly to me now, even while writing this, but mental illness is a f***ing b**ch. When I left them on Monday morning I was mentally drained after overthinking and constantly questioning myself. I ended up crying and staying in bed all Monday despite the lovely weather outside.  I wasn't sure I should have mentioned this, because it's easier to just pretend that the month in London was a rose-tinted dream, but I was fighting such a hard battle internally I felt physically ill on and off during the whole month. I honestly thought I didn't deserve being in London, I thought I was just a waste of space (and money) being in London. I thought about my uni friends having proper jobs and me just trying to survive. I did daily meditation and self-love exercises and tried so hard to just get by. I felt like sh*t but was also so bloody happy to be in the UK and to just do whatever I wanted (and of course studying a bit on the course). It was a month of mixed feelings, for sure! Anyhow, here are a few more random pictures from  London and Kelvedon. Hope you enjoy! I was back in Kelvedon and felt both sick, nostalgic, nervous, happy, tipsy, thankful, stupid and like I didn't belong.It was a lot.