When I am home alone or when I am on my way home from a friend, my anxiety eats me up and my suicidal thoughts start to haunt my head. It's not something I'm ashamed to talk about, but it is so extremely hard to live with. I'm not looking for empathy so don't feel sorry for me, but I just want to vent because sometimes it feels nice to be able to do it. I didn’t know that my thoughts of suicide would follow me so far in my life. I can feel good one second and everything is like at the top and in the next second I feel so fucking bad and think about killing myself....And now i’m so worried. So worried that I will feel so bad when i move. I really hope God is by my side and makes me feel better soon because i have promised myself to not back from my little adventure to Barcelona.